Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
