The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
