It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Randomize
