Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
