I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
