I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize