did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
