Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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