DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
It's never too late to be topless.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
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