Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
