Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize