YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
