Ambien. No doubt about it.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Randomize
