Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
