I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
