We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
