New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
