I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
