I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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