Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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