you guys were way drunker than both of me
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
