Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
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