Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
