After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
