Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
