like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
oh god was she eating orange peels again
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
