Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
