what day is it and did you see me today?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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