peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
They have beer where we have blood.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
