Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
