where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
