i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
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