Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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