i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize