The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
