Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
