Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
