we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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