no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
