you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
