Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
