Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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