Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
