Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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