hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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