everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
