I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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