haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I need to stop coming to work sober
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Man, jail baloney is awful.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
