He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
