All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
