Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
