i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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