You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize