omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
