so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
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