I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
