He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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