Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
